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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Dream Big and Set Big Goals - Who Do You Want to Be? - Decide

It's your life. And life is precious, though today, many people don't revere the blessing of actually being alive. Now, you can dream big dreams, you can set big goals, and become who you want to be. Success means different things for different people. For some it means a million dollars in savings, for others it means creating a happy home, fulfilling relationships, being with a partner to diamond anniversaries, etc. Your success like any other persons is determined by having that goal. Now, we find that success is not just about goals, but looking at an interesting equation. This equation is your potential verses your actual success. The closer you can get your actual achievements to your potential, the closer you are to be truly successful. You see, many people do set goals, even though I have found only 7% approximately set goals.

People do set goals, but it is the few who actually set goals, using a pen and paper, etc. And we find that bridge between potential and gross achievement happens only when fundamentals of goal setting are learned. Now is the time, and now is the time to dream big. Many people aim in life, and actually hit the destination, but so few people utilize such opportunities as right now to dream big dreams. Dream big dreams and realize that aiming for the Moon and missing is not a bad thing, because it means you have landed amongst the stars! Take time to dream big dreams.

Amplify them, and believe in them. A vision, an ideal, a big dream is something that must resonate with the core of your being. No, the riches wanted for the reason of boasting will not make success. It is the true vision of a life which benefits not just you, but others around you - that is a positive big dream, and one which every resource in the universe will be put to. So, who do you want to be? So be. Take your dream, and fashion it, work with it, be it. Let your dream take over you, and work to make it reality.

Most people will never go through the process from vision to reality, because the vision is not compelling. A man or woman who deeply desires a desire, a desire of a vision, an ideal, will attain it. Look at Microsoft, look at any success story that had a positive desire behind it, and you will see a big dream, and a big achievement. Decide, and so it will be with you too.

Visit these links to discover how your vision turns to reality and the goal setting system I use, and get your free eBook worth $7.

How to Set Work Goals

How do you set work goals? Work goals can be very different from a goal to go on a world cruise. A work goal can be mundane, it can be for small things, and it can be for big things. It can even mean totally different things than that, and we could find ourselves confused before long! End the confusion, and learn how to set work goals and move forward.

The reason for the confusion can be our definition. For example, an entrepreneur may have totally different types of work goals than an employee working in a day job - with work goals. They each could ask how to set work goals and have different aims and objectives.

One thing that unites the two is that they both have that desire for a certain achievement, and the work to get there. So now we have something to work with, and can utilize it to increase our performance and achieve more success whether we ask how to set work goals to increase our business or get us up the career ladder.

In essence whether you run the business or simply work there, the work goals you set will be similar. Most of the type of goals you set will usually be with tasks that are repetitive and can be simple.

This is the domain of systematization. You go from one task to the next. And here is where a goal setting strategy can go out the window, especially with all the repetition.

The solution then becomes to first stand back and look at what is trying to be achieved. This is why many coaches, including myself often ask whether you know your ultimate outcome.

Your ultimate outcome will be unique to you. For example, if it is your own business, then the outcome will likely be the reason why you got into business, in the first place. If you work for someone, and are setting these goals, then the ultimate outcome for you will be the pay rise, climbing up the career ladder or even being able to sustain or build on your lifestyle.

Having this ultimate outcome is essential, because it allows you to get maximum benefit whenever you ask yourself how to set work goals. Now you can look at what needs to be done in a new light.

For the most part, these mundane tasks we find on a day to day level are those tasks that need systematization. This is the domain of creating a process for the business. And even if you are an employee, you can still perform this task within your own job.

Finding the most important outcomes first and working to achieve them is the surest way to reach your ultimate outcomes. After all, when you perform 120% here, then your business increases, thus making your ultimate outcome reality. And it still works as an employee because 120% here means you have done the work to justify the pay rise.

Does this make sense? Visit the link to discover the full system I use to make 90% of my goals reality! Discover how to set work goals right now!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Creativity is A lot More Important Than You Think

Creativity has often been thought of the domain of the artists and the musicians of this world. What Daniel Pink has to tell us though in his book "A Whole New Mind", is that creativity is about to affect all of us.

Mr. Pink talks about the scary phenomenon of outsourcing that has been taking away lots of jobs from us here in the States and that's where the whole new mind comes in. The old mind "the left brain" will not service us as well as it did for so many years.

All of our leaders up until now have been knowledge workers as Peter Drucker famous management guru says they have "The ability to acquire and to apply theoretical and analytic knowledge".

In our society test takers have always been rewarded. You need an SAT to get into college, a LSAT for Law school and GMAT for medical school. Of course the higher you score, the more likely you are to get accepted.

However, it's not enough anymore, outsourcing has ruined it for our society of left brainers. A salary of $75,000 can now be outsourced for a fraction of the cost, $15,000. To overseas workers that are overjoyed to get the work.

As a result our society now needs a new set of aptitudes and they have been turning to right brain activities to define those aptitudes.

There is new an emphasis on relationships, problem solving and yes, creativity.

As Tom Peters says "Any job that depends on routines, that can be reduced to a set of rules or broken down into a set of repeatable skill, is at risk"

As Mr Pink says 'We've moved from an economy built on peoples backs to an economy built on peoples left brains to what is emerging today as am economy and society built more on peoples right brains"

To prove this point Yale school of Medicine has been sending their students to an art museum to hone their powers of observation. They claim that students who study paintings, will notice more subtle differences and details in a patients condition.

Even those dyed in the wool left brainers, the Japanese, are remaking their educational system to include greater creativity, artistry and play.

As an educator, I feel that this has tremendous ramifications for young children. As my expertise is in art for young children , I have been launching a crusade against the traditional crafts for kids that is done is so many preschool classrooms and art programs.

If we are to listen to the voice of Mr. Pink don't you think we would be better served if we started giving our children real educational arts and crafts that really brings out the child's creativity as opposed to having them copy our copycat models.

If we start the children's creativity young, we will have a lot less to worry about when they face the big world out there as they grow into adulthood.

Faige Kobre a former preschool teacher and director for many years is a graduate of Bank Street College Of Education probably the foremost graduate school in the area of progressive education. Aside from her teaching and directing experience she also runs workshops for teachers specializing in non crafts art for the preschool classroom. She is also the creator of Creative Art Solutions for kids, teaching parents and teachers how to empower their children through art . (She is also the proud mother of 6 and grandmother of 1) To download FREE report on a wonderful non crafts art activity called "Tray Painting" go to http://www.educationalartsandcrafts.com she also has a blog specifically for preschool teachers at http://www.preschoolmusings.com

Creating Resilience

My friend and colleague, Sandy Davis, who lives in the northern reaches of the state of Maine, is an executive leadership coach. Among other things, he teaches people how to be resilient. He has a simple, effective formula that includes spending fifteen minutes each day in three different practices: a centering practice, an aerobic practice, and a creative practice. According to Sandy, along with some other basics like eating and sleeping well, if you consistently practice fifteen minutes daily in each of the three areas, you will develop and sustain a resilient mind, body and spirit.

I don't have difficulty with the centering or the aerobic practices. I make time for these easily every morning. I have always known that of the three resilience practices, my creative practice is the one I am most prone to let fall by the wayside.

While I am very creative in my work life, Sandy says that being creative at work (writing articles and creating workshops, for example) is not the same thing as a separate creative practice, like weaving, painting, or writing poetry. By the same token, if you are a poet and make your living that way, you would need a different creative practice that takes you out of the work arena.

Singing is my true creative practice, and sadly, I am not consistent.

In the past month, however, I've needed to sing nearly every day in preparation for a concert. As I practiced and rehearsed by myself and with my trio, I noticed that my energy was higher, my spirits lighter, and my attitude happier - not just during rehearsals but all the time. And this increased resilience seemed to radiate out into other domains of life. Singing always buoys me, but the songs I sang in this concert were particularly uplifting: "On A Wonderful Day Like Today," "Put On A Happy Face," and "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" to name a few.

This experience was a needed reminder of the benefits of a separate creative practice and has inspired me to sing at least fifteen minutes a day. How hard can that be?! What has kept me from it in the past is the interior dialogue: "I don't have time to practice; it takes too long to warm up and get ready to sing," -- stuff like that. What I noticed this time is that the warm-up IS singing and IS fun. So ...

I will sing fifteen minutes a day. Promise to myself.

What is your creative practice? Have you actually practiced it lately?

About the Author: Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict and the award-winning e-zine, Ki Moments, containing stories and practices on turning life's challenges into life teachers. Judy is a black belt in aikido and nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Friday, August 8, 2008

Stressed Out at Work? - Try Stop

You're beginning to have a panic attack at work - your breathing is strained, your chest is tight, and sweat is beading on your brow. You feel confused, scattered, your energy splintered in a million directions. Before you know it, you've misplaced a vital document which is needed at an upcoming meeting, had a disagreeable exchange with your boss, and snapped at someone on the phone. You seem to have lost your presence of mind, you feel disconnected to your body, and everything you do seems to be a brittle reaction to the challenges of your day.

At such moments - and we all have them -a simple exercise in awareness can totally shift the energy and change your perspective. STOP is a four-part exercise that anyone can do at any time. It takes about one minute to complete. It goes like this:

(S)top. Stop what you are doing - if you're reaching for the phone to call someone, stop. If you're about to walk down the hall, just stop. If you're reading a report, put it down. Just stop whatever it is that you're doing.

(T)ake a breath. If it feels comfortable, gently allow the eyes to close. Then follow your breath at the abdomen as it enters the body and as it leaves - breathing in and knowing that you're breathing in, and breathing out and knowing that you're breathing out. Do this for 30 seconds without trying to do anything else. Just breathe.

(O)bserve. Observe exactly how you are in this moment - notice how the breath is, whether it's tight or open, long or short, notice whatever physical sensations are most predominant, and notice what emotions might be present. It's very helpful to name the sensations and emotions - you can silently say to yourself, "tightness," "tense," or "anxiety," "anger", "frustration," etc. Whatever is present is totally okay -don't judge the experience, just acknowledge it honestly and with an attitude of kindness towards yourself.

(P)roceed. Now that you've acknowledged with complete honesty how your are in this moment, you have instantly reconnected yourself to the present moment, and body and mind have a closer connection. You feel more space surrounding your difficulties, and you are ready to face the next moment with more awareness, authenticity and effectiveness.

When we cultivate an attitude of spaciousness around our stress, we become free of the habitual thought patterns and emotional turmoil that trap us in negative reactivity - by simply acknowledging how we are and tuning in to the breath and body, we are aligning ourselves with a wider perspective that lets us relax our grip. With that broader perspective, we are also able to make wiser choices about how to respond 3/4 rather than react - to the challenges of the day. And the beauty of STOP is that you can do it throughout the day, whenever you notice stress building up or your presence of mind has diminished.

William Scheinman is a mindfulness meditation trainer and co-founder of Stress Reduction At Work, which provides mindfulness training at company worksites. http://www.stressreductionatwork.com

Frustration - Let it Drive You

Believe it or not we control our own frustration levels. We create our own frustration by our reactions to events and situations. We ask ourselves over and over again why does this keep happening to me? Many times when "things" happen to us , we believe it is because of other people. When it is actually our reaction and how we respond that creates the situations we find ourselves in. When someone cuts me off in traffic I can decide if I am "gonna get even!!" or if I am going to say to myself "better they are in front of me so that I can see what they are doing". We really can control our own frustration simply by the way we talk to ourselves.

Being locked into or attached to the outcome can be a big part of why we get frustrated. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves "Why am I so attached to this particular outcome?" I know for myself many times when I let go of my specific desired outcome and let other ideas in - the end result can be much better than I originally pictured.

If we use frustration wisely it can actually drive us. In my current efforts of building a home based business a huge part of my growth and personal development has come from using frustration to my advantage. Now I allow that frustration to drive me to do something different when things "just ain't going the way I want them to".

In the past when I was frustrated with a project or task I would walk away from it. Now I ask for help or assistance. Previously, I would go back to projects and tasks that I had walked away from, but in many of the cases, I only created the same frustration and would get myself into a vicious circle of frustration and walking away. The end result would be not completing the task or project. Now by asking for assistance I can learn a new way of doing something, apply it and "YAHOO" the project or task is completed.

We need to be clear in exactly what we want. Take a really close look at what you want. Are you doing the things you need to do on a daily basis in order to achieve what you really want? Make a list; keep it in front of yourself EVERY DAY. Because what we focus on is what we get.

Decide how you are going to use your frustration . Frustration creates energy, and we need to make a DECISION how we are going to use that energy. One of my first real success examples is when I quit smoking. At the time I had a 4 year old nephew he kept asking me "When are you going to quit smoking Auntie Carla?" then he would add the kicker "I don't want you to die." Now I know my sister and mother coached him on saying that but it still worked. People used to wrinkle their noses and move away from me in public arenas. Many of my friends had quit smoking and no longer invited me to all the social gatherings. My frustration with all of those different events happening in my life at the same time drove me to making the third and final attempt to quit smoking. I am happy to say that it was successful, not always easy but well worth it!!

What are you going to do to let frustration drive you? Send me an email let me know how the article has been beneficial for you and I would love to hear your success stories; even if you believe it is only a minor success. I believe that one small change now can change your future so please do send share with me about any and all of your success stories. Join Me For My Terrific Tuesday Teleclass
1-218-486-7200 Bridge 549706
Every Tuesday at 5:30 Pacific

Step by Step Stress Relief Methods

Stress is a significantly rampant and dangerous phenomenon throughout the world. Stress can cause illness and most people are not aware of that. You can relieve stress by performing deep breathing. If you have to take classes such as yoga, then it would be recommended. Yoga relaxes you. Meditation is also another method of relieving stress and yoga also provides some form of mediation. You can do deep breathing on your own by breathing in and out through the nose. Close your eyes when you are doing so and this will give you a sense of meditation and relaxation.

Do something different and change your routine. You might be surprised how walking up to a stranger and striking up a conversation might be a great stress reliever because there are no inhibitions. You can just be yourself. You can even talk to the person about any issues you are having and they will listen to you without judging you so you can be yourself.

Appreciate the people in your life. Give them a hug and let them know how you love and appreciate them. Gratitude is the best stress reliever. You no longer think about what is going wrong, but what has been done right so far. Learning to be appreciative can be a great stress reliever.

Maintain clarity in your mind. Do not harbor any negative thoughts or negative people who burden you with their own stress. You can be a problem solver, but you don't have to make it your life's goal to solve everybody else's problem.

Walking is a good stress reliever. When you go for a walk, you can get to clear your head and be more aware of what is going on around you. You get time to think about whatever is challenging you.

Listen to soothing music. This is a great way to relax you. You can put on a CD in your car when you are traveling so that it will relax you before you get to your destination. If you make that a habit, then you will always be in a relaxing mood.

Laughter is also a good way to relieve your stress. Laughter is good for the heart and also relaxes you. Find friends that share jokes with you and who also love to laugh a lot. You would be surprised what this can do for you. Try having more fun with your life. Go out with your friends and enjoy life. Don't be serious all the time. There is a time and place for everything.

It is said that chamomile tea is good for relieving stress. Drink it at the end of the day and see if it works for you. Change your lifestyle, if you have a hectic life. Tone down a little. Drop some of the things that are not so important and simplify your life. Sometimes, it is our busy lives that cause us to be so stressed out all the time. You can change your own destiny by changing the things that you do.

Sharon Capehart, Empress of Empowerment makes it her mission to "wake up" women everywhere to the incredible potential they have long forgotten they possess. She is the author of "The Power 2 Be You!," creator of "A Woman's Path to Success" as well publisher of the FREE Power Up! ezine. Sharon will help you build a solid foundation of confidence, cultivate a success-oriented mindset, and walk with you on your journey to a life filled with Passion, Excitement and Personal Power. For more information and FREE (ezine, blogs, articles, etc) resources please visit http://www.positivelywomen.com

Monday, July 21, 2008

Create and Design Your Life

Try and ask yourself this question, "Are you going with the flow or making the flow as you go along?" Successful people tend to have an attitude of delayed gratification. Every action they made takes into consideration of short term and long term gain. Think wisely of any actions you made as some actions would lead to instant gratification but in the long term will cause negative outcome. For example, the attitude of buying the latest brand new car or the latest gadget available in the market. This are in the short term gratification as you only can enjoy it in a short term duration only. The misery of losing a huge chunk of money will cause negative consequences in the long run. The money spent can either wise be invested in a long term gain that will last much longer. Learn the attitude of the rich so that in return you will become one.

Are you an "I create my life" person? or are you a "Life happens to me" person? The "I create my life" person is a proactive person who does not wait for any favors. This type of person always believes that wealth will come by active action by their side. Misfortunes or problems arise from their own doing and it is up to them to resolve it without blaming on others. In a work environment, this type of person will always climb the corporate ladder fast as he does not blame others but only themselves in moving upwards in their career.

The "Life happens to me" person is a passive person who always tries to blame others for their misfortunes or problems. They believe that if they are poor, it is because it is destined that way. They always treat themselves as victims. In a work environment, this type of person will not move very far in their career. They will always complain about office politics or not being appreciated for their work. They will always have a victim mindset.

Razamith Sovereign is undergoing his Masters in Engineering Business Management in University of Warwick, United Kingdom. A General Manager in a technology company, he provide useful advice through his articles that he have found very useful in managing his daily life. To find more articles on self improvement, please visit http://motivasia.blogspot.com

Finding Time Through Effective To-Do Lists - 3 Myths and 3 Tips

Finding time is like finding treasure, right? The next question is how to spend it!

If time is money, then to-do lists are the smart budgets that ensure you pay your bills and still have cash left over for that special something. They're powerful and they'll work for you. If you hate them, lose them or never even start them, learn how to use them to your advantage.

It's easy, once you've decided you want to use your time well and will do whatever's necessary. Here are 3 common To-Do Lists Myths and 3 Tips to dispel those myths with Effective To-do Lists.

To-Do List Myth #1: "To-do lists don't work."

Reality: Effective To-do Lists are extremely successful if you construct them well and follow them! Make sure you construct to-do lists as realistic plans that align with your values. Then they're like mini-navigation systems, guiding you through your day and keeping you on track.

To-Do List Myth #2: "To-do lists will just make me feel rotten (or guilty or overwhelmed) at the end of the day."

Reality: Effective To-do Lists will make you feel powerful and accomplished at the end of the day! The secret? Make them short. Only put on what you can realistically do and are motivated to do. If a project can't get done today, don't put it on today's list. Or only enter the small portion you can accomplish. Anything else goes onto your weekly or monthly list, in doable chunks!

To-Do List Myth #3: "To-do lists will just remind me of what I hate in my life or what I'll never be able to get around to doing anyway."

Reality: If making Effective To-do Lists helps you face what you dislike and identify what you want and never find time for, that's a benefit. Examine what you have identified as necessary. If it's truly necessary, then clarify why you value it. Don't waste your time resenting it. If it's not necessary, omit it. If you feel a pang over a valued activity you never get around to, commit to reworking your time choices!

For reinforcement, print this out and post it prominently. Make Effective To-do Lists. Learn to plan and accomplish tasks in manageable increments.

You'll love how Effective To-do Lists help you find time!

What is your next step to make the very most of your time?

You will find expert guidance quickly with our free, twice-weekly Finding Time Tips. You are invited to sign up at http://www.findingtime.net/ezine.html

Each short Finding Time Tip is paired with a practical action step that you can use immediately to enhance your time effectiveness. As a bonus, you'll also receive our free, monthly Award-Winning Finding Time Ezine where we discuss the role of time in our lives.

And for even more time thoughts and techniques, visit our blog at http://www.thetimefinder.com

Offered by Paula Eder, Ph.D. The Time Finder.

The Tragedy of Suicide

Having someone that you love commit suicide is one of the most painful human experiences imaginable. It is a sort of grief that is hard to imagine unless you are aware of the victim's circumstances or know them personally. Even if you have experienced the loss of many other loved ones, even through tragic circumstances, dealing with the grief of someone who is gone because they took their own life is so much different. Regardless of your age or your gender, or that of the person who has passed away, dealing with suicide is never easy. It is a grief that seems more personal than any other kind, and leaves us wondering, sometimes for the rest of our lives, the true cause of their final act of desperation.

A Different Kind of Grief

Dealing with the loss of a loved one whose death was a result of suicide is very challenging. In addition to the immense feelings of loss and sadness you may also be experiencing shock, blame, anger, and trouble understanding what went wrong.A suicide is usually an unexpected death, so it is hard dealing with all of these feelings at the same time.Many people have described the grief process of someone who died of suicide as a terrible roller coaster that just won't end. There are many feelings that come with the death of someone that you love in this manner. Some of the feelings that are experienced are guilt, blame, anger, shame, confusion, relief, despair, betrayal, and of course abandonment. This mix of emotions is understandably overwhelming and as a result the grieving individual may feel that they are very disconnected from the person who has passed away as well as those that are still living. Many people who are grieving after a suicide become obsessed with the need to understand the person's reasons for their action.This can be an overwhelming need, and one that can never be fulfilled.Because of this, there may be a huge sense of responsibility for the death. Other people get angry and feel as though the deceased went about the suicide as a hateful act; to get back at them for something.

The Stigma Attached with Suicide

The stigma attached with suicide truly does affect the mourning process, more so than a lot of people realize. There are many cultural taboos and religious beliefs attached to suicide that can lead one to be unfairly judged by friends when they really need them the most. Many people avoid the subject of suicide altogether, not ever allowing themselves the time to deal with the grief that they are feeling. The stigma attached to suicide really does leave a lot of people feeling very isolated and stressed out which can make the grief process all the more difficult, and may leave some at risk for suicide or suicidal ideation themselves.

You're Not Alone

When you are coping with the loss of someone that you love and you are dealing with the mix of emotions and the compounded grief experienced by those touched by suicide, you should know that you are not alone. Annually there are 10 to 20 million people who attempt to commit suicide, and they are people of all ages, races, and social status. In fact, one in four people know someone who has passed away through this means. Men over the age of 70 are more likely to commit suicide though it is seen in people of all ages from the very young to the very old.

Coping with Your Loss

This can be a very difficult time but you need to remember that you are not alone. Coping with the loss is something that everyone does differently, but there are some things that you can do to help yourself move through the grief process. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge the suicide even though it may be against your religious or cultural belief. Next, you should recognize your feelings and the loss that you have experienced. Be sure to talk openly with your friends and family members about your grief, reaching out to your friends. Many people find that support groups specifically for those that have been affected by suicide are very helpful. There are groups of this type for every age group, so you'll be sure to find one where you fit right in.

Also give yourself permission to struggle with birthdays and anniversaries that are tied to the deceased, as these can be the most difficult times during the year. Try creating or perpetuating a familiar routine that will honor the person that you loved, and their life. Dealing with the loss of a loved one through suicide is difficult and if you are struggling and just need to talk to someone there is always someone you can reach out to. Even if you don't feel like you can talk to your friends and you don't want to burden your family members, there are still other resources.

Visit sites such as Befrienders Worldwide and you'll find that there are plenty of people who can help you through this very difficult time in your life.

Mike Vines, in association with GriefManagement.org, seeks to provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief, along with the hope and understanding from a community of concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to help others through the difficulties of life.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

You Gotta Play to Win - Even in Your Career

Human beings have an infinite capacity to find ways of entertaining themselves. I recently heard about a South African sport called Kudu Spitting. A Kudu is a kind of antelope and participants collect the cherry-sized kudu droppings and see how far they can spit them. Yes, we are talking about kudu poop and yes, they spit it with their mouths.

Play is magic. It makes time seem to pass more quickly. No matter how strenuous or challenging the play is, we are motivated, energized and rejuvenated by it. Play inspires us to improve our performance. We strive to get better and better and when we are done, we look forward to the next opportunity to play.

Wouldn't it be nice if work could be as much fun as our favorite game? Imagine having fun at work all day long and coming home afterwards filled with energy and looking forward to going back the next day!

Play can be as physically challenging and mentally stressful as work. Yet, we thrive on play while work can be soul destroying. Why is that?

Philosopher Alan Watts identified the critical difference for us. When we feel compelled or obligated to perform a task, it feels like work. When there is no sense of obligation, whatever we are doing feels more like play. When we treat everything we do, including work, as play, a sort of miracle happens. It all becomes rather fun.

Now, among mundane and boring jobs, bagging groceries has to be in the top ten. A few years ago, I took a job at the local grocery store while recovering from two spinal surgeries. I just needed to get out of the house and do something physical. In order to inure myself to the lack of mental challenge, I created a number of little games. I mentally evaluated how healthy each order was and devised a ranking system. I also challenged myself to see how quickly and efficiently I could bag large orders using fewer bags. As I collected shopping cars from the parking lot, I worked toward increasing the number of carts I could manage and navigate without losing control of them.

According to Watts, the key to my ability to convert bagging groceries into pure play was the fact that I did not feel obligated to do it. I was in that job because I had specifically chosen to do that work for my own reasons. But, it is not difficult for me to apply the same standard to anything that I do. I have chosen my career. I choose my clients. When I commit myself to a particular project, I voluntarily sign the contract. I may make that choice because I want or need the money but the choice is mine all the same.

An on-going work-life balance survey by Integrity HPI indicates that 24% of survey participants feel trapped in their current job. Trapped...in other words, they feel obligated to continue. It might be difficult for those people to convert their jobs into play but they are the ones who would benefit most from doing so. It is possible that they are in the wrong job but I suspect that they are more likely in the wrong mind-set.

Even if we find ourselves "trapped" in a job because we don't see any alternatives, we have one critical choice to make and that is how we look at our job. As the saying goes, you gotta play to win. If a hunter working in the South African bush could think up Kudu spitting, you can creatively find ways to make your job fun and exciting. Give it a shot. Have a go. You're it!

You are invited to visit http://www.integrityhpi.com and subscribe to weekly Tips for a Balanced Life. Joseph Onesta, M.A. is a speaker, trainer and coach working in the field of Human Performance Improvement, consulting with organizations and individuals to improve their performance through focused strategies, enriched work/life balance and enhanced communication.

When Life Happens

Recently several clients and friends have experienced hardships from house foreclosures to job loss to health crisis. Unfortunately not all things in life are "good" but with the right tools, you can find your way through your own quagmire to peace...

1. Becoming a victim. Often when tragedy strikes our first response is, "Why Me?" A more realistic response would be, "Why not me?" No one will walk through this life without mishap or tragedy. Why? Because it is in our "hardships/mistakes" that we learn, not our perfect moves. I believe each of us is striving for wholeness, so we must grow - growing can hurt sometimes.

Years ago I was introduced to Wayne Dyer's idea that, "there is a valid reason for everything that happens." At first I rebelled against this idea - I was a victim - raised in an alcoholic, violent home; molested as a teen; divorced parents; had to work my way through college; chronic pain due to a car accident...on and on I could list why life was unfair and I was a victim.

Then I detached and looked again - all of these horrible events taught me and brought me closer to wholeness - in ways I never expected...The chronic pain from my car accident drove me to seek alternative approaches to healing as I had exhausted all the traditional medical avenues. By going down this alternative path, one I would have never walked without this unrelenting pain - I unlocked a whole new life, a new path to peace.

When you are a victim, it is impossible to see past traumatic events to, "What do I need to learn from this?" and "What is my body/soul trying to tell me?" i.e. "What do I need to learn from this experience so I don't find myself in these shoes again?" When you decide there is a valid reason for everything, you take back your power. Instead of being tossed about as a victim of circumstances, you own this experience and glean the knowledge to transcend tragic events. You grow into fullness.

Once I was able to shift from "poor me" to "What can I learn from this to empower my life today?" ("When have I felt this way before? Or is this a bad pattern I am in?") I was able to unlock the victim response from any experience. Thus I created a pocket of peace within whatever tragedy/difficult event occurred because I know, there is a valid reason for everything...even if today I can not see what that reason is.

2. Seek support. Ok, it is all well and good to know, "There is a valid reason..." but we still need support. Call friends, family and if need be, professional support. Even if we know somewhere inside, "there is a valid reason..." - we still are in pain and that must be attended to. Just because you know you are learning and growing in this process, it does not lessen the very real agony of the experience. The good news is - people do want to help, it's a natural response. When you see a friend or family member in acute pain, don't you want to help? - do something, anything.

Allow your friends and family to "be there" for you - you may even be surprised by someone you never expected to show up in a way that heals not only your heart, but theirs as well. Tragic/upsetting events often create opportunities for healing in ways you don't expect or think even thought possible before the events were put into motion. This is the "silver lining" we refer to after the tragedy passes.

3. Spiritual support. Yes, when need the support of people, but even more - spiritual support. It is a gift we chose to accept ourselves - in our own time. Out of sheer desperation I found God in my twenties.

I was absolutely broken-hearted after ending a six year relationship and in chronic pain from a car accident. Everyday would find me in tears, smoking too much pot and grasping for anyone/anything to make it better. One Sunday, I found my way alone to church. I was not raised in a church - in fact the opposite, as my Mom described herself as a "recovering catholic."

I had never been to this church before and I'm not sure what the service was about as, but I do remember I wept throughout. I couldn't stop. I just felt like somewhere inside I came home. As the pastor spoke, she silently invited each one of us to know God not only by the words she uttered, but by her very presence. This woman was peace - a beacon calling to a new life.

She spoke of a loving God who was with you always. The words were a balm for my hurts and I could feel myself calm from the inside. I breathed again. Then we sang hymns, ones I had never heard before and suddenly I was singing the words, "Resting in the palm of God's Hand," and I was.

In that moment, I understood - I am never alone. I looked at the shining faces around me and saw pure joy. "Joy," not pleasure derived from buying or attaining something, but joy - the glorious shimmering of your soul in the fullness of life. This was a place for me, resting in the palm of God's hand.

Today I still use this imagery over and over whenever I feel lost, or out of balance. Sometimes, as you grow up, you discover you have to release certain beliefs you were taught as a child. I know this lesson of "There is no God, you have to do it all," was taught to me with the best of intentions - survival. However, it crippled my life. I had become obsessed with control or truly, the illusion of control and the idea I had to do it all myself - I was alone.

I am not saying you have to go to church to find God or a higher power, however titled, what I am suggesting is to find connection to something greater then self. Maybe for you this happens in nature or art, but somehow to view yourself in partnership with the world around instead of in battle. Once you establish connection to something greater then self, you are able to detach and really witness the events - maybe I am supposed to be learning something here instead of beating myself up about the unfairness (yes, sometimes life isn't fair...) of it all?

4. Courage. I would love to be able to say something magical that could make all the bad things go away...Well, all I've got is a message of courage. Not condescending, "It will get better with time," or "I'm so sorry for your pain," but courage.

I say "courage" in the full knowledge that the answer you seek as you walk through this difficult time, already rests inside you now. Be still and listen, maybe even meditate. For in that stillness your strength will come, and manifest a change in your life. Be still and listen. So be it.
"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

Kelly Ballard is a workshop leader, Intuitive Guide and Healer. Through workshops, private sessions and guided meditations Kelly specializes in helping others discover positive solutions for immediate change/growth in their lives thus drawing their most abundant life into reality. Find out more information about her services and meditation CDs at http://www.kellyballard.com - Contact her directly at 720-984-4232 or email kelly@kellyballard.com - She lives in Boulder, CO.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Change Your Life Change Your Mind

All of us like or would like to live a happy, fulfilling and abundant life. I have read so many self improvement books, purchased many self help programs, just to change the quality of my life and also other people's lives around me. I have tried and tested many of these ideas.

The ultimate question arises, do these really work? My finding to this was YES! It absolutely works!

All the ideas about positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations, meditations etc, they all work wonders. Although all these techniques requires effort and self discipline. Practicing these techniques once or twice will not make much of a difference. It has to be practiced and repeated several times a day. You have to have the self discipline to keep up with the repetitions. For in some cases months on end. You need will power to make these techniques work for you.

Most people find this very hard due to most of us being naturally impatient. We all like quick visible results rather than waiting for the long term results. If you are like me, and like most people, that's exactly how you feel.

I know this because I am writing from my own experience. I struggled to make these techniques work myself.

The first time I heard about Brain Wave Entertainment, when I realized what it can do for me, I was almost in tears. It is truly amazing, brilliant technology.

No more continuous repetitions of visualizations, meditations, affirmations, no effort, just listen and let you brain do the rest.


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Happy Independent Thinking

Most of you probably celebrated the Fourth of July, or Independence Day, with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, picnics, concerts, and various other events celebrating our history and traditions of the United States. It's our time to celebrate freedom by commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

The United States Declaration of Independence was a statement adopted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, announcing that the thirteen American colonies then at war with Great Britain were no longer a part of the British Empire. The birthday of the United States of America-Independence Day!

Although celebrated upon publication, the Declaration was initially neglected following the American Revolution. Abraham Lincoln notably influenced the Declaration's symbolic stature as he viewed the Declaration an ideal for which the nation should strive, especially as expressed in Jefferson's famous preamble:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I couldn't agree more with Thomas Jefferson's words. I think this is the perfect time to celebrate our freedom and right to independent thinking. Working as a coach has helped me truly appreciate how wonderful it is to be free to dream and think big. To create the life you desire with no limitations in the pursuit of happiness. This is truly a holiday worth celebrating!

While most of the news and discussions as of late has focused on all the problems in our country and what seems to be going "wrong", I'm going to ask you to pause a moment and appreciate what our country has to offer us.

We have freedom of choice, freedom of speech and more opportunities than ever before in our history to pursue our happiness in any and every way. We can take vacations, travel when we want, to where we want, purchase what we want, get a new job or start our own business without permission or approval, drive the car we choose, walk or ride a bike, take a bus, set our own goals and openly achieve them, hire a coach to help you grow, go to college or educate for free at our libraries, earn the income we desire or more, build a new home or buy one in the city or state of our choice, dress as we want, marry for love, start a family, go to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, for massage or personal training, need I go on? I am incredibly grateful to live in this country and have what I value most, my freedom to dream.

Just as our country's Father's intended for us, we have unalienable rights, a theoretical set of individual human rights that by their nature cannot be taken away, violated, or transferred from one person to another. These Rights are the most fundamental set of human rights, natural-not-granted nor conditional. They are the basic necessity of our survival. These rights are what keep our human spirit alive.

Through the course of my work I have met many fulfilled people. This has brought joy to my life and warmed my heart. People achieving and living their dreams, living their bliss! They have found their purpose and spend their days giving to others, sharing what they have learned and are best at.

I think one of my favorite stories is about my very first client Rob. (He's also my personal trainer!) Rob was working as a civil engineer and made a decision to go after his dream, he just wasn't sure quite what it was. Through our coaching sessions, he discovered his passion for fitness and is now the leading trainer at his gym. I am honored to have accompanied him on his journey and coach him as he transformed his life. Now he helps others do the same as they transform into a healthier, fit body and lifestyle. He also continues coaching even though he found his bliss, to keep him performing at his best. (He's a model client!)

On the flip side, what saddens me the most in my work is when I hear people tell me "they can't". They are on the path of self-destruction and they want out, but "they can't" do anything about it. They have stopped "independently thinking" and have taken on the poor concepts and beliefs of others and their own hardships so they choose to do nothing, which is really the same as giving up.

Nothing ever stays the same, so when you do nothing you move closer to pain, dis-ease and even death. When you make empowered decisions and begin to make the right changes in your thinking and feeling, you move toward joy, health and bliss.

When I see someone's human spirit fading away because they have forgotten their unalienable Rights it's because they have stopped using their freedom to choose a better way, a brighter path on their journey called life. They feel trapped, helpless and hopeless, not realizing that the choice is all theirs to feel that way. Sadly it happens every single day in our beautiful country of freedom. So many people waste time and energy they can never get back.

I work with people that find themselves in debt, divorced or on the verge, their mind, body and spirit sick with dis-ease and depression, they are overweight, eating poorly, sleepless and tired, overwhelmed and usually on medication to cover up what's gone wrong with their health. As a coach, this fuels my fire and together we turn things around. Health or dis-ease stems completely from your emotions. Emotional hygiene to prevent dis-ease is as necessary as brushing your teeth to prevent decay.

I'll say it again, we live in a fabulous country full of choices that allow us to live our bliss. You may want a companion at this point of your journey guiding you to make the right choices that lead you on the path to your passion. I'd be honored to walk with you as I did with Rob.

I always tell people that I get hired for one of two reasons... inspiration or desperation. Which one are you or are you somewhere in the middle? Remember, your choices are either moving you closer to inspiration or desperation as nothing ever stays the same.

Happy Fourth of July! Continue to celebrate your right to think independently and freedom of choice each and every day! I know I will!

Nicole is an accomplished Motivational Speaker and Success Coach. She has over 17 years of experience helping people achieve incredible levels of personal and professional success, health and prosperity. Her extensive training in the areas of mind-body synergy and verbal / non-verbal communication coupled with extensive self improvement, sales and time mastery skills have provided many clients with unparalleled success. She focuses her efforts on working with clients and organizations using a synergistic approach to solving complex issues resulting in substantial bottom line improvements. Focusing on up to date methods such as tele-classes, seminars, workshops and web based services, Nicole uses a variety of techniques and tools to deliver and teach necessary life-skills and business-skills to her varied clients. Nicole is a certified professional who has a passion for coaching others to find happiness and achieve a balance in every aspect of their life.

How to Attract Happiness Into Your Life?

Do you know the universe is ready to give you anything you want? The only thing, in order to get what you want, is to have a prolonged thought about your goal. And that goal could be a happy life. Other requirements are that, your thoughts should be attached with your feelings. You should feel happy about what you want from life.

Why is it important to feel happy and joyful? You need to understand that we are living in a universe which has given the birth to all of us. And that should be a living universe. And in reality, this universe is a living universe. And the only language this universe knows is the communication through feelings. If you feel bad, it will assume that you want to feel bad. As well as if you feel good it will assume that you want to feel good. And the universe will ensure that you have experiences which give you good and pleasant experiences in your life.

Then, if it is that much important to feel happy, is there any method to achieve that feeling on a continuous basis. And the answer is yes. When you are feeling any negative thoughts you can change in an instant by singing a song or playing with your pet or anything you like the most. You can have your list of emotion changers.

Keep only those thoughts in your mind and block everything else. This will change how you feeling at that moment and that feeling will bring you in a state where you can be as close to the universe to get what you are feeling and that includes things related to wealth, health and happiness.

One other thing related to happiness is to understand your human nature, that human beings are not perfect. So you are allowed to do mistakes as well as your friends and relatives. You have to forgive yourself whenever any mistake done by you as well as by others. Have a big heart.

Apply these principles in your life and achieve happiness in your life.

"Download Your Free Report on The Law Of Attraction" and Attract Wealth & Happiness into your life. Click Here To Download at http://www.Wealth-Motivation.com

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Most Seductive Intoxicating Addictive Drug

Do you know the most seductive intoxicating addictive drug? Is it the opium, LSD, marijuana, cocaine or etc etc... I think it is none of these. I believe it is pain. The drug is all around us. Only thing is we see everywhere but fail to observe it anywhere. Let's look at it more closely.

Why do all of us talk of adventure like how we scaled the heights, swam across the ocean, trekked whole day and night, bungee jumped, sky dived, went to six flags and sat on every ride and the list is endless. We speak of the pain that is involved, how much we toiled, how much we struggled to reach or destiny, our goal and the satisfaction that we got on top. What are these things that we are speaking of? Adventure sports! Or is it intoxicated controlled pain that the body has been nurtured to in order to reach the body's physical limits. Is it not addiction? Sport men and women speak of endurance. Is it not the addictive doses of pain pill that they are consuming? Again I say this addictive because of some observations. People into adventure sports always challenge the limits. When the limits are reached, they set their limit higher. It happens with each one of us. When we walk on treadmill for 1Km, we decide that next time it should be 2Km. We raise the bar. And this happens in and out, sub consciously throughout our life and we enjoy it even though it involves pain and more pain.

When we come down to basics, we can observe it even better. The children who have been exposed to controlled parental scolding and punishment are much more attached to their parents when they grow up unlike the ones who have never been scolded or punished. The employees given controlled liberty are much more active and operational than those given complete liberty. The painful forms of sex starts off from clips and whips and people are yet to find their extremes. A person on a pilgrimage which tires his physical and mental stamina still peruses and finds it divine towards the end. Why? The pain pill stimulates the maximum at its threshold. The pilgrimage drives him till that point. But then there is a limit, the line between the divine and insanity.

All of us have an instinct for survival. That is precisely why we have all kinds of protection in the high adrenaline rides. Those who choose higher forms of adventure still venture out with protection. A very few dare to stare death in its eye. And those who do, we call them insane. 'Seppuku' of stomach cutting practice observed originally by the samurais of Japan doesn't narrate any episode of trauma. Rather it speaks of soldiers falling smiling after performing the act. Do you think the pain that such a person goes through is any different from you and me, had we performed the same act. No. It is the tolerance limits that change. Is it supreme sacrifice or social rewards and benefits or the fear of pain crossing the threshold? We never know. What I feel it that the beauty of pain that these people got exposed to allowed them to these limits.

With lot of talking I still cannot prove anything, so let's get real. Let's look at some things that we might have done. If you have a habit of going to bed at about a fixed time, say 11PM, you would have observed that once you have overcome the next half an hour without sleeping say till 11:30 you can carry on as you have just come from bed in the morning for at least 2 hours. What made things change all of a sudden? Why was there a complete turnaround? Why do we suddenly feel fresh all of a sudden? Similarly those guys who have gone trekking and felt extremely exhausted but continued their journey suddenly feel relieved and full of new confidence of energy after crossing a limit. What is this? Where did the tiredness go? Where did new source of energy come from? This is what I would call is the most seductive intoxicating addictive drug. Pain. Perhaps it has more scientific explanations but this is what my normal eyes can see.

Sandeep Sudhakaran
[any thing that beats my heart is music]


Sunday, July 6, 2008

Energized the Way Nature Intended

"The world belongs to the energetic"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without energy, there is no life. We were born with energy, we are energy. We use our own energy constantly so it's important to take measures to refuel and recharge. Energy can be acquired and that's good because there's plenty in life that can drain your energy.

Energy is everywhere in nature - in sunlight, in the wind, in the forest, in the rainfall. Most of us are incredibly busy, confined almost every moment to the indoors at work, and on weekends so burdened with chores that we are becoming more and more disconnected from the natural world. Take note that you simply can't get outdoors enough!

How do you feel when you spend hours inside a cubicle in an office surrounded by fluorescent lighting, wall-to-wall carpeting and artificial paint? Dull, tired, tense and drained by day end? Have you ever worked in a room with no windows? Perhaps you felt groggy after only a short time in the room.

Have you ever spent time in an environment that invigorated your body and mind, calmed your nerves and inspired you to think clearly and creatively where you felt completely in the moment and like anything was possible? Chances are that you were in nature or a room filled with elements of nature.

Nature provides things we need, like fresh air and sunlight, but there's an energy within living things that we connect with when we're outdoors. Nature is abundant, giving and constantly growing and changing. Being in nature is therefore vital to your well-being. Just moving around in nature makes your body feel good and you actually get an endorphin rush. (The chemicals called endorphins, are a mixture of the two words endogenous, meaning from within the body, and morphine, a powerful pain fighting drug and work as the body's internal pain killer.)

Nature really has healing effects. Spending even a few minutes of quality time in nature each day can have a profound effect on both your psyche and your physical health.

• Spending time in nature helps you sleep better.
• Going outside when you feel a cold coming on seems to make cold symptoms vanish.
• You don't need to consume vitamin D if you get about 10 to 15 minutes of sunlight on your hands, face, and/or arms several times a week. (There is evidence that vitamin D helps inhibit the growth of some types of cancer cells and their spread.)

No wonder people don't seem to get sicker when they're outdoors, only better!
Spending time in nature also makes people feel more purposeful. When we connect with nature, we connect with our place in the universe. We are reminded of where we came from and where we return to. We realize that we're just one of many species and that we're connected to other forms of life. It refreshes our outlook on life and creates a higher sense of being and what really matters in life.

How can you spend more time in nature when your schedule is so busy? Make nature during the workday a priority.

1) Doing work like paperwork, reading, and laptop computer work outside can be extremely productive, especially if you're trying to stimulate creativity. Want to liven up your next meeting or training session? Move it outdoors. You'll be amazed when everyone comes back to the office energized and ready to get to work again! I've taken many meetings to the park and come back with exceptionally creative ideas to implement. Nature has no limits, so it's only "natural" that your ideas are more creative and free flowing!

2) Take a walk during your lunch hour no matter what the weather. Why do we wait for the weather to get better before going outside? All weather (except for extremes) can be enjoyable if you prepare. Bring rain gear or warm clothes if you have to. People seem to complain when it rains, but actually it's really beautiful. Our lives depend on rain. The other night I sat and watched and listened as it poured outside. I felt so refreshed after only a few minutes. Next time it rains, open the window so you can hear the rain. If you can't open the window, stand by it and watch the running water. I'm sure you'll soon notice birds dancing in the puddles as they bathe themselves. Bring on the rain! When you first step out of your door for your walk, pause for a minute and close your eyes. While your eyes are closed, allow your hearing and sense of smell to heighten and leave your workday behind. Open your eyes and remain still for a few more moments. Listen for birds singing nearby, breathe deeply and notice any scents of the season. As you walk, take note of nature at "work"!

3) If you can't get outside often enough during the day, try using full-spectrum light bulbs which mimic sunlight in the light fixtures in your home. You can buy them in many health food and home improvement stores. Full spectrum lights are the closest to real sunlight. You'll notice benefits like improved mood, enhanced mental awareness, concentration and productivity, superior visual clarity and color perception, better sleep at night, a super-charged immune system, more energy, reduced eye strain and fatigue and a greater learning ability. All that from a light bulb!

4) Real plants bring life to any work environment. Fill your office corners with plants and trees. The beauty of nature is that energy is either stored, transformed or transferred - but cannot be destroyed. This principle is illustrated in the life of plants. The light initiates a process of photosynthesis whereby green plants convert energy from the sun to transform carbon dioxide and water into glucose and oxygen. Plants are our best air purifiers so place them close to equipment and machines where emissions can be absorbed. Most effective are indoor palms, English ivy, ficuses, peace lilies, and chrysanthemums. But certainly most leafy indoor plants are fine. It never ceases to amaze me when someone notices and comments on a plant about to bloom or when it has grown significantly. Plants awaken our spirit. Just as plants grow toward the light (notice your plants in the office leaning toward the light) we do as well. We can benefit greatly from having plants in our work space as a reminder of that.

5) Having a vase of fresh flowers is certainly healing and energizing. Be sure to have a vase of seasonal flowers at your entrance for all to see and admire. Everyone loves color and flowers are the best way to make your workplace more vibrant. Keep a small bouquet on or near your desk. The aroma and colors keep your right brain awakened and helps your creativity flow. You can't help but feel cheerful when you look at flowers. Want to surprise a client? Send them flowers just because you want to brighten their day. They will appreciate the thought for sure.

6) Windows are key for city dwellers and for people who are physically unable to get outside easily. Just being able to look at a tree outside your window for a few moments can make you feel better. Place a bird feeder outside your window for free entertainment.

7) Fill our office walls with photos of nature scenes. Looking at the photography will make you feel more connected to nature and it will build your energy. You'll be able to visit nature all day long.

8) Tune into Nature. Nature creates the most relaxing sounds. Play nature sounds accompanied to music during the day. Imagine you're working on the beach as the waves crash, or perhaps you're out in the woods with the birds during a rainstorm. Your mind will not get bored with that kind of background "noise". You'll feel invigorated all day long!

Take a tour of your work environment and note where you can add elements of nature. Try rearranging your plants for a change of scenery. Go out at lunch today and bring back some fresh flowers. Plan your next meeting outdoors. Find a buddy to walk with at lunch time. Have everyone share a nature story to open your next meeting. See how you can connect your workday with nature.

Appreciating nature and spending time outdoors is important, in fact it's vital. Without it you won't function as well, just the same as skipping a meal or exercise, or not getting enough sleep at night. There's always so much to do, and spending time in nature seems to be the activity we skip. Block time in your day to get outdoors, enjoy nature, or at least bring nature inside until you can! Enjoy the natural energy around you!

Nicole is widely acknowledged as a uniquely talented and energizing speaker and Success Coach who brings the art and science of Positive Thinking to innovative and animated life. In fact, some people say she's like a "Happy Fairy" because of her infectious positive attitude and her playful outlook on life. Nicole uses a variety of techniques and tools to deliver and teach necessary life-skills and business-skills to her varied clients all while entertaining them at the same time. Nicole is a passionate, certified professional who helps women have personal breakthroughs so they can enjoy more fun and excitement in their life by creating harmony in their health, wealth and relationships. Nicole created You Can Fly Coaching, LLC so she could help individuals, small groups, companies and corporate teams create personal and professional maps that lead to dreams come true. Nicole's clients kiss their fears good-bye and soar beyond current limitations. That's why they call her The "You Can Fly" Coach. Contact Nicole if you're ready to fly at (262) 436-0445 or nisler@youcanflycoaching.com

Reading - A Positive Attitude Adjuster

Life can be tough. Sometimes the daily pressures of everyday life are overwhelming. And when pressures are bombarding us from all sides, our attitudes are usually affected... UNLESS we have a bag of attitude-rescue tricks. Attitude-rescue tricks are personal and can range from a yoga class to visiting the elderly, and even to reading. I'll focus on one that I feel is the easiest to incorporate into our lives. Maybe we feel we don't have time to take a class or run three miles or serve others when we don't even have time to serve ourselves. But can't we each steal fifteen minutes -- when we're looming on a depressing precipice -- to pick up a positive book and infiltrate our minds with positive messages. This works for me -- amazingly -- and can lead me from the depths of despair to a renewed sense of hope. Our lives at times can be inundated with negative messages, from direct attacks from people with their own problems, to being cut off on the highway. Most of the television programs are not exactly uplifting; they thrive by pulling us into the drama of revenge and betrayal. I'm not saying watching T.V. or a good revenge flick is bad, but rather sometimes with the harshness of life itself, we need a more counterbalanced approach. Reading can do that, if we choose wisely.

I have to admit, sometimes I"m reading five books at the same time. My husband is puzzled by me; he reads one at a time, very sequentially, but mine all depend on my mood. Do I need a change in attitude? Do I merely want to read a well-written story with an intriguing plot for the sake of good entertainment?

Besides all my personal philosophies of why reading is wonderful, it is a proven productive activity. Here are the benefits in a nutshell:

  • Attitude Adjuster
  • Increases your Knowledge
  • Improves your Vocabulary, thus improving your conversational skills
  • Enhances Creative Imagination
  • Encourages Attentiveness
  • Boredom is far less frequent when there's a love for reading

Time is precious, let's choose our free-time wisely. The more positive we are, the more productive we can become and reading can be a stepping stone in this process. If we start when our children are young -- encouraging a love of reading -- then they too may find that reading can be a tool to uplift their souls and redirect their thoughts to a more positive outlook on life.

Jaycee Fox writes on subjects with the goal of achieving a balanced life. She has a Bachelors in Psychology and a Masters degree, and is the mother of three busy children. If you're interested in finding that balance, and the many resources that can help you achieve it -- especially her recommended books -- then check out Jaycee's website at http://jayceeliving.com/

Friday, July 4, 2008

Your Best Life Yet

These days it seems that just about everyone has the right formula to improve your life. Bookstores and libraries abound with hard and soft back publications on how to become the kind of person you were meant to be and want to be. Often the authors make grandiose claims, touting their path to success as something new, a mystery of the ages never before revealed. The truth is, as the ancient King Solomon wrote, there is very little new under the sun including principles of personal management. Most if not all of the values set forth inside brightly designed book covers are regurgitated ideas wrapped up in new packages. One ancient source for writers of modern wisdom literature continues to be the Bible.

Next to the Apostle Paul, Simon Peter was perhaps the most influential follower of Jesus Christ. In fact, the papacy of the Roman Catholic Church traces its commission and authority back to him. Many years after the Christian movement had spread out of Jerusalem to Asia Minor and Southern Europe, Peter wrote a letter to some fellow believers struggling with persecution. Today, the letter is referred to as Second Peter. Interestingly, it was the last writing accepted into the Bible's canon or official list of books.

After a brief salutation to his readers, Peter claims that in the good news of Jesus Christ, God has given his disciples everything necessary for life and godliness. In the next few paragraphs he outlines nine principles that when followed will render your life both effective and productive. Furthermore, the Apostle promises that the one who applies these principles in earnest will never stumble and will receive a rich welcome into God's eternal kingdom. Peter also writes that those who ignore these qualities are short-sighted and blind and doomed to failure. Even though Peter's primary audience was followers of Jesus the ideals he outlines apply to everyone.

The nine principles put forth by the Apostle Peter are:

• Hard work
• Faith
• Integrity
• Knowledge
• Self-control
• Perseverance
• Devoutness
• Kindness
• Love

When setting these principles down in his letter Simon Peter uses the phrase "add to." He does so in order to show each trait to be intertwined and necessary to accomplish your best life possible. The following is a brief explanation of the nine qualities:

Diligence - Essentially diligence means giving an earnest and consistent effort. It includes the notion of industriousness or hard work. In order to achieve your greatest potential you must be intentional about making it happen through hard work.

Faith - Faith is an abiding confidence in you and your support network as well as an enduring conviction that the journey and the outcome will be worth all the blood, sweat and tears. Peter's support network included God.

Integrity - Integrity is an unwavering attitude to be honest and ethical in the midst of the pursuit. It is a desire to do things the right way all the time, graciously and without pretense or any hint of self-righteousness.

Knowledge - This fourth trait includes acquiring information and mastering skill sets in order to be the best at whatever you are led to do. A carpenter must learn how to use the tools of a carpenter; a professor must be an expert on the subject(s) he/she is attempting to teach. Since developments and technologies are being updated continuously, the knowledge trait includes maintaining a teachable attitude until the journey comes to an end.

Self-control - Self-control means having the discipline to say no to attractive but incompatible alternatives. The world is rife with temptations for instant gratification. While rest and relaxation are important to any balanced lifestyle, you must be willing to reject any activity or action that will derail or disqualify you from attaining your very best. A well-nurtured faith combined with a greater knowledge and understanding will make it easier for you to exercise self-control.

Perseverance - Perseverance is the fortitude to stick it out regardless of the pain involved. It is your determination to overcome any obstacle no matter how ominous it may appear. Consistently exercising self-control will give you greater capacity to persevere in the tough times.

Devoutness - To be devout is to be fully dedicated and consecrated to a cause. Often, the all out pursuit of a cause can leave you to deeper conviction or biting cynicism. If the quest has yielded nothing but a treasure chest of empty promises, you may be left with a heart of bitterness and wrath. If on the other hand the fruit has been worth your ardent labor then you will be even more committed to the effort. Perseverance leads to more devoutness.

Kindness - Human capital is the most important commodity on the planet. No doubt that in outlining these principles Simon Peter had his readers' relationship with God most in mind. He knew that when disciples of Jesus become more devout in their faith and practice they will be concerned with what God is concerned with. Peter knew that God is most concerned with people. Regardless of whether you believe in God or not, it is essential that you see and treat those around you as valuable. You must dedicate yourself to treat all others with honor and respect. You are not an island nor are you a self-made man. You did not grow or pick the fruit in the produce section of the supermarket. You probably did not make the computer you are using to read this article. Society grows and progresses when its members lock arm in arm and walk into the future together.

Love - Regardless of the amount and depth of pain we have endured at the hands of others, we all want to be loved. Kindness begets kindness, perhaps not immediately but eventually. When you become the person you really want to be and choose to fully enjoy the people around you, you will be possessed by a deep and abiding affection for yourself and those others. Then you will be guided by the most important principle of all - love.

Everyone everywhere wants to live the best possible life. They want to be productive and effective in their pursuits. The nine principles outlined by the Apostle Peter are time tested and universal. If you put them into practice you will experience your best life yet.


Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Positive and Negative Uses of Anger

Our emotions are like the weather. The weather changes constantly. A day can start out with the most beautiful sunrise, and by noon the skies can go from blue to gray and cloudy with thundering and lightning. We have emotions that are like the bright shiny days and we have some that are like dark clouds of thunder and lightning. We have seen weather forecasts that suggest weathers are triggered by warm temperatures or cold temperatures etc. The bottom-line is that weather is triggered by something. It does not just happen.

Thus there are obviously good and bad emotions, just like there is good and bad weather. Fortunately we can detect when bad weather is heading our way [most of the time]. Using this information we take certain precautionary measures to deal with bad weather, either through avoidance or should we need to remain out in the elements, use protective gear.

Anger

We should be able to forecast our emotions as well, based on the environment. Remember the weather triggers. We can usually tell when our emotions are changing, depending on what is going on around us. The emotion that most people try to avoid is that of anger. This is like the thundering and lightning weather. We can deal with anger by taking notice of the things that trigger this emotion in us. If we notice the triggers, then we can take steps to avoid it by removing ourselves from the situation or, if it is something we need to 'weather', e.g. a necessary confrontation, then we need to take measures to not let that emotion get out of control.

Anger is not necessarily a bad emotion, but it is often not channeled correctly. Anger can be used to move people into action. Most people who have heard of Jesus Christ may have heard of the time He angrily turned over tables in the temple. The reason? He saw the poor being taken advantage of by greedy businessmen in the house of God out all places! This behavior triggered the emotion of anger in Him and He moved to action.

In dealing with Anger, we must pay attention to the triggers to either avoid the emotion, or if we need to weather the storm of this emotion, develop ways to channel it correctly. Loosing control with anger as the stimulus never produces good results. Loosing control in anger can be likened to the dark clouds of thunder and lightning with tornadoes.

You can find many ways to handle anger correctly, taught by experts. However here are some methods that I have employed:

  • Not going over the confrontation or event before hand in your head in a negative light. So do not anticipate what others are going to say or do negatively and how you are going to react negatively. Think of this as not taking gasoline with you to deal with a fire.
  • If the event happens suddenly then obviously you do not have much time to prepare. However, remember the 'triggers' we discussed earlier. You should know when you are in an environment that is conducive to an anger outburst. So spend time thinking about how positively you can respond to a situation.

If you spend time imagining positive responses vs. negative reactions, you will soon begin to develop proper ways of handling anger. It requires programming your mind. So if you have an anger problem, spend some time each day imagining how positively you can respond to situations. It will manifest outwardly.

Copyright © 2008, Mark A. Singh. All rights reserved.

Mark A. Singh
For more Life changing Principles, please visit my site:
Leading In Life


Moving Beyond Anger With Emotional Freedom Techniques

Quite often, we get angry; and we deal with it in different ways.

Some of us react; some suppress; some show indifference; some walk away fuming inside; some of us believe it is "wrong" to feel anger and hence suppress or 'by-pass' angry feelings; and some of us bring it all out on other people.

Science is proving the link between heart disease and anger as the underlying emotional cause. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)has been extremely useful and efficient in healing anger and it is amazing to see how a person has a new understanding of the same situation that unfolds naturally; often, much to their own surprise and relief. With the new perspective that emerges, they have clarity on dealing with the situation with more positive choices in hand.

Identifying globally:

Firstly, here is a brief list of common reasons why we feel angry towards someone/ ourselves. Replace 'they' to someone specific (in a specific event/situation), or to ' I ' if the anger is towards yourself.

When others do not agree with me

When they do not understand me

When they obstructs me from satisfying my needs.

When they do not respect me

When they think they are superior

When they try to control or suppress me

When they criticize me

When they tell lies or gossip about me

When they harm me or someone close to me.

When they have evil intentions or ulterior motives

When they are negative, complaining, whining, criticizing etc

When they think they know it all

When they give me advice I have not asked for

When they play the role of the victim, the "poor me," and want attention

When they do not take care of themselves or carry their share of the load

When they make mistakes

When they do not keep their promises or appointments

When they are weak and dependent

When they act in an egotistical and selfish ways, disregarding my or others' needs

When they use me or others

When they are cold and insensitive

When they are not responsible to their word or responsibilities

When they are lazy

When they ignore my needs

When they reject me

When the traffic is too heavy

Being Specific:

Think/connect to the situation/ person in your mind that bring these feelings in you. Tune into a specific event or incident where you have felt this way and use the Movie Method approach of EFT and review your feelings after a couple of rounds of tapping.

Beliefs

Our beliefs become part of us from childhood much of which is learned from those around us. When we think/act as a reflex and feel uncomfortable with those thoughts/ actions, it is a good idea to review the beliefs and make positive, productive changes that fit into who you are.

Anger belief EFT statements

Here is a list of anger belief EFT statements. Practice them tapping along everyday while brushing your teeth in the morning, in the mirror, in small groups or anytime you feel your negatives coming to the surface and in few weeks, you will experience a new and different you..

Even though I am afraid of anger, I choose to acknowledge all of my feelings. It is safe for me to recognize and release my anger. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though if I get angry, I will lose control, I choose to express my anger in appropriate places and ways. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though I have no right to be angry, I choose to know that all my emotions are acceptable. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though anger is bad, I choose to know that anger is normal and natural. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though when someone is angry, I get scared, I choose to comfort my inner child and we are safe. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though it is not safe to be angry, I choose to know that I am safe with all my emotions. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though my parents did not allow me to express my anger, I choose to now move beyond my parents' limitations. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though I won't be loved if I get angry, I choose to know that the more honest I am, the more I am loved. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though I have to hide my anger, I choose to express my anger in appropriate ways. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though stuffing anger makes me sick, I choose to express my anger in appropriate ways. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though I have never been angry, I allow myself freedom with all my emotions, including anger. I completely love and accept myself.

Even though if I get angry I will hurt someone, I choose know that healthy expressions of anger keep me healthy. I choose to know that everyone is safe with me when I express my emotions. I completely love and accept myself.

'Using' anger in a healthy manner: How?

Ask yourself "What do I want here (from this person) that I am not getting (and which is making me angry)

Once you know what it is that you 'want' or 'need' is, express it to the person in a positive manner.

Here, we have gone beyond anger by taking a couple of steps backward!

This will lead to less reaction that stems from anger, to more clear and productive communication; better understanding; more joyous experiences in relationships.

And of course, a much healthier heart!

And, do remember..

Even though I was told anger is not good, I give myself permission to acknowledge my feelings...!

I give due credit to Robert Najemy and Louise Hay for their teachings on the subject.

Overcoming Emotional Anger

Feelings and emotions are basically the essence of our lives, but anger is one feeling that can destroy us. Coping with anger is not an easy task to achieve, but it is not impossible. We see that, with enough will power, we can climb large mountains, so we need to think that anger is just a mountain that we can climb to the top of with simple anger management techniques.

Anger can sometimes become the dilemma of our lives. As it tries to take control of our minds, our whole being can be subjected to different changes. As a consequence we can find we are no longer in control of ourselves and anger has ultimately taken charge.

Emotions of anger can arise when we are afraid of something. Fear is always the underlying root cause of anger, and in the surge of these emotions we may act out violently to protect ourselves. By acting out violently we are not ,in fact,protecting ourselves or practicing good anger management skills, but in reality we are creating more problems for ourselves.

When we feel threatened we are likely to react to feelings of fear and anger every time we do not have the power to decipher the underlying cause that actually made us angry. If we are incapable of getting to the underlying reasons of our anger then the result is not going to be a good one. Our lack of anger management will undoubtedly only cause more problems.

Consider yourself in a situation where you are threatened by some people. Now there are two basic ways to deal with this situation, as follows:

1. First of all you get an anxiety and panic attack, but you need to contain yourself and think how you can get out of this problem. You must try to calm yourself down however difficult this may appear to be at the time. When you feel a bit more relaxed, talk with the people who are offending you. Find out what they actually want, and try to explain and discuss what is bothering you. If you are successful in engaging them in a conversation then you are likely to find the solution to the problem. This is a great anger management tip.

2. The person with anger management problems will deal with this situation in a very different manner. The person will be frightened first of all, and then this fear could lead them to act violently. If this happens they will inevitably make the situation worse because of their anger and their uncontrolled emotions. The uncontrolled and overwhelming emotions can lead to fighting with the people who threatened us.This will obviously not help the situation at all , in fact , it will most likely result in a far more hazardous situation. This is certainly not displaying any kind of anger management.

The best way to deal with any situation is to stop and think whether it really is worth getting angry and emotional and possibly depressed about. If yes, then try to use your anger in a positive way. Use it creatively to think it through and find a solution to the problem. Talk to the people who are irritating you rather than becoming violent and possibly inflicting injuries on them or abusing them verbally. By law you are certainly given the right to protect yourself, but you certainly have no right whatever to harm or abuse anyone, either verbally or physically.

There is no doubt that there are some situations where you are going to find yourself with no option left other than defending yourself physically from the other person or persons. But even if you find yourself in such a situation always remember to stay in control mentally. You should always use anger management techniques to keep yourself in control. The moment you lose control mentally and let your anger take over you will then have lost all sense of self control.

Do not do this to yourself, because when anger takes over it will lead you into doing things that you would never ever normally choose to do. Your lack of anger management will make you prone to do things which you would ,under normal circumstances, find totally unacceptable.

In summary , always use your will power and self control when you find yourself in a confronting situation. This can certainly prevent you from becoming a victim of negative anger. Use your anger management strategy. Use your emotions of anger in a positive way. Don't let your anger take charge of your life.

Article written by Norman Holden editor and owner of http://www.AngerManagementNow.com a website about Overcoming Emotional Anger

Visit his website on a regular basis for up-to-date news and help.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Believe That You Have Whatever You Want

Words can be very tricky things at times.

The trouble is that certain words that are used a lot get loaded up with extra meanings and associations, so that they have to be used with great care, if they can even be used at all. For example, if I start talking about God, I may well be pretty sure what I mean, but, since you have a lot of things associated with the word, you may well hear something quite different from what I intend. A word like "God" tends to have some very powerful and emotive associations, so as to make it almost useless for any meaningful discussion, unless there is a clear agreement about exactly what it means to the people in the discussion.

Advertisers use this phenomenon of word association to help sell their product. They call it "branding."

I mention it because if I say something like, "If I pray to God in faith, then God will certainly give me exactly what I pray for," I've already lost at least half the audience, who now probably think I'm some kind of religious nut. But that's just the word associations of the highly charged words I'm using.

So if I say this instead, "If I ask the Universe to supply me with something that is on my list of desires, and I put the focus of my thoughts into vibrational alignment with that desire being fulfilled, then the Universe will respond to my vibration by the Law of Attraction to bring me what I ask for."

Putting it in this way is still quite highly charged, but less so. It is much easier to get the actual meaning of it, rather than the "branded" meaning.

But, and this is the point, both sentences mean the same thing!

So why is it important? For two reasons. One, you need to be able to put your requests in a way that feels comfortable for you. Two, you need to put your requests in such a way as not to introduce any shadow of doubt that they will be fulfilled.

So if you want something amazing to happen to you, or to the world, it is essential that when you ask for it, you believe and do not doubt. It is your doubt that prevents it from happening.

"If you want to change the world, change yourself first."

The author writes for "Success is not just about Money" the blog dedicated to helping a million people to learn how to create their own reality. Visit http://positivehighenergy.blogspot.com